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Long ago, when I was just a skinny teenager with no sense of the world's ways, my cousin’s husband gave me some Dave’s Insanity Hot Sauce to try with dinner. Not knowing what it was, I poured it on my dinner as liberally as I would have Tabasco or Frank’s Red Hot.
This was a mistake. Dave’s has been rated at about 180,000 “scoville units,” the measurement of a hot sauce’s intensity (Frank’s Red Hot is around 500, and Tabasco is 2,500 - 5,000). The bottle itself warns that it’s “not for people with heart/respiratory problems” but facetiously promises that it can “strip waxed floors and remove driveway grease stains.”
To put it lightly, that sauce obliterated my meal, scorched my mouth, and gave me visions of an evil God. But being a stubborn teenager, I poured even more on my next slice of bacon and brie quiche. By the end of the night there were tears streaming down my face. It ruined the whole visit, and I don’t know why I do these things to myself.
To this day I have no idea if my cousin’s husband’s cooking is actually good (they got divorced later for reasons that I assume were related to hot sauce) but I couldn’t help but wonder: why does Dave’s exist? It’s not that I’m too wimpy for it -- most people report similar experiences -- and it renders anything it touches inedible. And though Dave’s was once “the hottest sauce in the universe,” that just isn’t the case anymore: Get Bitten Black Mamba 6 is rated at 6 million scovilles, and Mad Dog 357 -- the hottest sauce on Earth -- is an absolutely terrifying 9 million.
What could these possibly be used for, aside from teaching teenagers hard lessons about stubbornness?
The answer, of course, is to make food hotter -- just not in the way that you’d normally use a hot sauce. You can achieve some really unique, deeply delicious flavors with these kinds of extreme hot sauces, but first you need to completely change the way you think about this seasoning.
Most people have one go-to hot sauce, usually Frank’s Red Hot, Sriracha or Tabasco. These kinds of sauces are added last, usually right before you take your first bite, often while saying something like “let’s give this pizza a little kick.” With something like Dave’s, you need to add it a lot earlier, in much smaller quantities, and for far larger meals. To put it lightly, you don’t want to dump a bunch of it on bacon and brie quiche -- a single dab can flavor enough food for an entire family.
For example, the last chili I cooked had the following ingredients:
- 1 of black beans
- 1 can refried beans
- 1 lb ground beef, browned.
- 1 can of tomato sauce
- ½ can of jalapenos
- 1 onion
- 2 bell peppers
- 1 garlic clove
- 1 bottle of beer (I used Flying Dog’s Salty Bitch)
- 1 cup of black decaf coffee
- A splash of whiskey (I’m not convinced this changes the flavor, it’s just a cool thing to do)
- Plenty of chili powder, salt, pepper, and other seasonings that struck my fancy at the moment
And finally:
- One single drop of Dave’s Total Insanity Sauce. The smallest amount I could make come out of the bottle.
After leaving it in my slow cooker for a couple hours, I had a chili with a nice, even heat that complimented the flavor of the meat, beans and veggies without overpowering them. It’s an utterly unique flavor -- hot without being overtly spicy, an extra element of flavor that is enjoyable even for people who don’t normally use hot sauce. If I had used an ordinary sauce like Frank’s, I would have had to add half a bottle to achieve this level of heat, and it would have completely changed the flavor of the chili. but Dave’s 180,000 scovilles blend perfectly.
I have to warn you: once you start experimenting with hot sauces like this, it’s easy to get addicted. You’ll realize that you can’t just use one sauce for everything, you need a specific sauce for eggs, another for pizza, and that the hot sauce you add to your marinara sauce just won’t work in beef stew.
Before you know it, you’ll have a whole library of hot sauces, each with its own specific use. Maybe you’ll even have one that’s just for bacon and brie quiche.
Hearst Newspapers participates in various affiliate marketing programs, which means we may get paid commissions on editorially chosen products purchased through our links to retailer sites.
Joshua Sargent is an editor for Hearst Newspapers. Email him at josh.sargent@hearst.com.
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How to use the hottest hot sauces on Earth - SFGate
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