People like to draw conclusions when it comes to human behavior, and sometimes it's a good way to feel out the situation. Green flags affirm the good while red flags indicate warning. More recently, there have been mentions of beige flags — items that steer clear of being a deal-breaker but aren't net positives either — but that's unnecessarily complicating things.
There's always a lot of talk about red flags, being the bad person or being oblivious about one's actions on Reddit that often lead to philosophizing whether they're the asshole or not. We've tried to roundup some of the biggest red flags and asshole behavior that we've seen each week with a roundup of some the most egregious human behavior that people graciously shared online.
My Boyfriend Keeps Trying To Make Nicknames Stick Because I Share His Mom's Name, Am I Being Inconsiderate For Pointing It Out?
My boyfriend and I have been friends for a while, long before we started dating. I have passively known I share a name with his mum for a while but never really thought about it. Now that we’re dating, he tried to give me a nickname out of nowhere and I was genuinely confused. He kept doing it and I told him that’s not my name and I’d rather be referred to as my name — perhaps this is me being a little bitchy, because my name lends to quite few nicknames, but I don’t like them and don’t associate them with "me" at all.
He explained to me that he’s uncomfortable calling me by a name I share with his mum now that we’re in a relationship. Personally I find this weird? I know people with the same name and I can separate them from each other easily. He’s not the only man I know with his name either. Besides, he never calls her by her name so what’s the point? When I told him that I don’t want a nickname and I’d like him to call me by my name, he called me inconsiderate. This isn’t a big deal or anything but I’m just curious to see what other people think about this because I really couldn’t imagine this being a problem for him until he told me.
While OP did say that this wasn't "a big deal or anything" — hmmm — people generally seemed to call his harmless behavior, including siding with OP. While other said they'd wouldn't date men with their dad's name, and others regaled about people hiding their middle and first names from spouses, consensus veered towards a beige flag, and people hoped the boyfriend would grow out of it. Read the rest of the thread here.
Did I (M27) Do Something Wrong By Unintentionally Serving My Girlfriend (F26) A Smaller Portion Of Food
I (M27) went to my girlfriend’s (F26) apartment yesterday to hang out. I also decided to cook her her favorite dinner while I was there.
After I had made the chicken marsala, mashed potatoes, and garlic bread, I invited her to come to the dining room and serve herself a plate. She was in the middle of watching a movie, so she told me to just serve it for her.
When I gave her her plate, she got really upset and asked me why the hell I served her less food than I did for myself. (We both got two equal pieces of chicken breast and garlic bread, I just served myself a few more spoons of mashed potatoes because I had a big appetite.) I asked her if she would like me to go get her more mashed potatoes.
She yelled at me and said I was missing the point, and threw out her plate of food and called me a jackass. Afterwards, she started crying and told me to leave.
I've tried contacting her but she hasn't responded since then. I feel really bad for hurting her feelings but I don't know why me serving her a little less food got her so upset, because it was an easily fixable problem. AITA?
EXTRA CONTEXT- A lot of commenters have asked about these things so:
I gave her around a cup of mashed potatoes, and a 5/4 a cup to myself. All the other foods were equally given.
This sort of situation has never happened before, because we have only been dating for two months, and this is the first time I’ve cooked and served her a meal. So far, she has never mentioned any history of body image issues, eating disorders, growing up in poverty, etc.
Many of top comments quickly coalesced towards calling this behavior a red flag, and saying that it probably wouldn't get better with time (it's a new relationship after all), shows bad communication and an overreaction. Throwing out a plate of food someone's cooked never helps either. Read the rest of the thread here.
Am I (M32) Being Too Judgmental About My Girlfriend's (F29) 'Juvenile' Home Decor To The Point Where I Avoid Hosting Guests There?
I’ve (M32) been with my girlfriend (F29) for over a year now. She’s smart, funny, a bit quirky, and has a serious job with a good salary. We have a great time together and generally get along very well. The only thing is her choice in home ‘decor’ is bizarre, to put it frankly, and not something you think a normal, grown adult would be into.
Her apartment is definitely a reflection of herself and interests. Not in the best way though.
My girlfriend has wall dedicated to animation in one room of her apartment, like Futurama pieces and etchings of some weird triangle guy. Then there’s the wall of framed preserved insects in another room. But not insects like butterflies or moths. Instead she displays tarantulas, beetles, and large stick insects. Her bathroom has a subtle theme of the ocean-pretty common. But instead of starfish or shells, she has a little anglerfish nightlight, a small vampiric squid painting, and then a framed diagram of what apparently is a Goblin Shark right by the toilet.
I would say a majority of her home decor and furnishings are okay. The apartment itself is very modern and sleek. It’s just the random decor and juvenile-ish themes like cartoons, insects, and bizarre ocean creatures, is off putting.
This is where I might be the AH. I avoid bringing people over to her place, especially people from my job, because of how juvenile it looks. Everyone’s impressed when they see the high rise, but that quickly fades once you enter. The one time I brought a work colleague over they ended up telling me after that they found her insect wall terrifying. I work in finance and appearances and first impressions are important.
My office will hold casual gatherings where we get together for a few drinks, good food, and we rotate hosts. And this time, it’s my turn. The problem is my place is under some construction and not an ideal place to be right now, so I’ve been staying with my girlfriend. My girlfriend suggested that we host my colleagues here since she has the space and thinks it’ll be fun. I told her I planned on skipping my rotation and seeing if the next person would be okay with hosting early. She kept pressing on why I didn’t want them over here, so I finally said it’s because her home decor is strange and not something a grown woman would have, and also that her insect wall horrified the one colleague that did come over.
My girlfriend got mad and said at the end of the day, it’s not my space and these things bring her joy. She also said that she is indeed an adult woman, which is exactly why her apartment is decorated in such a manner.
I love my girlfriend, I do. And it’s okay to have different interests. But does an adult really need to decorate with them besides a few things here and there? I mean, my own mother asked if my girlfriend was autistic after she saw the entire apartment for the first time.
So Reddit, AITA for telling my girlfriend her home decor is the reason I won’t host a work gathering at her place?
It looks like OP's self-awareness caught up with him somewhere in between writing that comment and that made everyone else's job, calling OP the asshole, much easier. People pointed out OP's shallow behavior, of how he doesn't particularly enjoy his partner's taste, while others called her apartment "badass." Read the rest of the thread here.
My (31F) Boyfriend (33M) Is Unwilling To Engage In Foreplay And Isn't Open To Discussion About Improving Our Sex Life
Hi all, I hope you are all well 🎈 I have recently started a relationship with this guy (lets call him Josh), and we are really early into a relationship - around 1.5 months. He's really great, but I have a huge issue with our sex. Although we only slept 5-6 times, our sex last as long as 15 minutes, no foreplay, and he goes soft right after first few thrusts. I have no idea how but he can orgasm while being half soft, and i couldn't climax not even once because i cannot feel him when that happens. I already mentioned to him that I have a high sex drive and i'm always going around him, teasing and touching which doesn't seem to have any effect on his Johnson.
I did however mention we could play a bit and maybe he can use something to help him remain hard, to which he discarded the idea completely.
I am confused, frustrated and starting to cool off because it's so early in the relationship and i'm not able to enjoy it physically. I decided to give him a little more time because the issue could be that he still cannot relax fully, although he never seemed tense around it.
How do I communicate this with him? How long should I wait? This has never happened to me before and i'm absolutely and totally confused. I wouldn't want to end it so soon because he is a really nice guy, but if this continues to be the same I will completely lose interest. People with same experience, does it ever get better?
TLDR: Started a relationship with a great guy, but sex is not up to par. Could use any advice on how to communicate this.
[siwa__]
Many people pointed out to OP that her boyfriend's issues could be bigger or deeper than their relationship, but also that him not walking to discuss their intimacy was a red flag. While others offered advice, some people said that things could only get worse. Read the rest of the thread here.
Read our last week's column about forgetful and stubborn partners here.
[Photo by Womanizer Toys on Unsplash]
"behavior" - Google News
June 24, 2023 at 03:43AM
https://ift.tt/loqu6bE
Should I Be Concerned My Boyfriend Is Unwilling To Engage In Foreplay, And The Biggest Red Flag Behavior This Week - TechDigg
"behavior" - Google News
https://ift.tt/H1Ah3vI
Bagikan Berita Ini
0 Response to "Should I Be Concerned My Boyfriend Is Unwilling To Engage In Foreplay And The Biggest Red Flag Behavior This Week - TechDigg"
Post a Comment