How To Handle Kids' Annoying Behaviors Without Losing It - Moms

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It would be hard to find a mom who doesn’t get annoyed by her child’s behavior every now and then. There are days in motherhood that are just too much for a lot of moms, and if they are already having a bad day, it can feel like everything their child says or does annoy them. This can create a vicious cycle, because mom may then feel guilty later for feeling annoyed by her child. That is because society depicts mothers and motherhood as this unconditional love, and that it should be impossible to be annoyed or aggravated by something our child does.

As with most of societies projections, this is simply not true.

According to The Week, moms being annoyed with their children at times is completely normal, because moms are human too. Roseann Capanna-Hodge is a licensed professional counselor and she stated that dealing with daily bouts of whining, interrupting and tantrums can annoy any person, and any mom.

Why Is My Child Annoying?

If we want to look at why our children are acting in an annoying way, the reason is typically fairly simple and they usually fall into one of four categories. When a child is exhibiting annoying behavior, they are typically seeking attention, escape sensory stimulation or a tangible reward (like candy at the store). They use these tactics in the hopes that mom will “give in” because she wants the “annoying” behavior to stop. However, there are things moms can do to handle these behaviors and make sure she remains calm.

Preventative

Preventative measures for anything are the best option, and if mom can prevent these behaviors before they start then she is ahead of the game. According to Tired Mom Super Mom, it is important for mom to teach their children skills that will help them from behaving in a way that can get on mom’s nerves. This involves a bit of empathy, as they need to see how their actions are impacting those around them. Empathy can be taught through reading stories or role-playing.

Ignore

Ignoring may seem difficult, but it is likely the best option for handling annoying behaviors. A good rule of thumb is if the behavior is not hurting anyone, ignore it. If the behavior is purely attention-seeking, like banging at the dinner table, mom should go on eating as if nothing is happening. This is going to tell the child that this is not the appropriate way to get your attention. Mom can offer a warning, and explain why the child is being ignored, but then it is important to stick to the avoidance strategy. If the annoying behavior is a constant trend, make sure every member of the family is on board, because if one gives in and responds, the child is getting the attention they are craving.

Bring Attention

On the other hand, there are instances when the behavior needs to be brought to attention. There may be times when your child is engaging in annoying behaviors, but they are unaware that they are bothering those around them. It is possible that all mom needs to do is remind her child that what they are doing is bothering those around them and give them alternatives that they can do instead.

Praise The Good Behavior

Children like to be praised, and if we are trying to curb annoying behavior, praising the good behavior can help. According to Very Well Family, praising good behavior can give them the attention that they are craving and it can help guide them on the appropriate ways to act. If your child is constantly interrupting you when you are talking, pause and praise them for playing so quietly while you are on the phone/talking.

“When” Statements

Something known as “when” statements can be incredibly helpful. If your child wants your attention, and they have decided to bang something on the floor to try and get your attention, offer them this warning. Go down to their level and tell them that ‘when they choose to stop banging, you will be ready to speak to them.’ You can also turn the phrase around and tell them that if they ‘choose to keep banging that toy, they are going to have to wait longer to talk to you.’ Offer the “when” statement once, and then move on to another activity.

Hold On

Sometimes days can just be incredibly hard and it seems like nothing mom does helps curb her child’s annoying behavior. In an attempt to remain calm, mom needs to recognize what her boundary is and excuse herself for a break. This could mean going in the bathroom and closing the door for a few minutes to recharge. Mom can also try changing the scenery and going for a walk with her child, or out to the park. This may help curb the annoying behavior and help mom stay cool, calm and collected.

Sources: The Week, Tired Mom Super Mom, Very Well Family

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About The Author

Ashley Wehrli (2403 Articles Published)

Ashley Is A Stay At Home Mom To Three Beautiful Children. Having Three Children Under The Age Of 4 Keeps Her Busy. When She Finds Some Spare Time She Enjoys Reading, Writing, Watching Movies And Writing For Moms!