Most of my client organizations want more of a feedback culture. I love to support efforts in this direction because I believe that constructive feedback behaviors contribute to effective collaboration and organizing. A feedback culture truly makes any organization more self-organizing and resilient.
My first question is usually, "What do you understand to be a feedback culture?" In my world, everything is feedback: the smile of a co-worker, the absence of a reaction to an email and the defensive reaction toward a new idea. As such, every organization has a feedback culture.
The underlying question for many organizations is really, "Can you help us deal with the discomfort and potential suffering that emerges when people give each other critical feedback?" Or, "Can you repair the hurt of managers who have recklessly driven their feedback and created a culture of fear?" Most of my clients tend to focus on the giving part, but that is less than a third of the equation. A feedback culture is about three movements: asking, giving and receiving feedback. To empower these three movements, they need to be accompanied by three mindsets: curiosity, courage and clarity.
It starts with leadership.
I believe that the first and foremost practice to create a feedback culture is to have leaders ask for feedback. Due to their exposed positions, leadership role model behavior influences how co-workers in an organization act around feedback. If there is not enough role modeling that asking and receiving feedback is safe to do here, people will simply not give it. If you want more of a feedback culture in your organization, regardless of your position, be the change you wish to see in the world and courageously ask, "What is one thing that I could do differently to enable or empower you more?"
Maintain the ideal praise-to-criticism ratio.
In the 70s, relationship researcher Dr. John Gottman discovered the magic ratio for happy couples: "For every negative interaction during conflict, a stable and happy marriage has five (or more) positive interactions."
The same can be said for high-performing teams. In order to develop the safety needed to create a feedback culture, the focus on what someone did well and excels at needs to be higher than the focus on what someone needs to change or improve.
One of the practices I love doing is a regular round of recognition (ROR) after a team meeting. This could be in the form of speed dating, where every team member gives the other a concrete example of when she appreciated them in the last month. For clarity, it is key to share concrete examples (the data of behavior) next to feelings (the impact of behavior).
You are not the feedback you receive.
Feedback is a representation of someone's behavior in someone else's mind. We have a tendency to identify with the feedback that we receive, especially when the feedback comes from a person with formal authority over us.
A natural tendency to react to feedback, especially when we do not agree with it, is to defend ourselves and explain why what we did was valid. What helps overcome this defensiveness, however, is to stay aware that "feedback is a representation of my behavior" and to practice a curious mindset: "What can I learn from this perspective?"
Feedback is about receiver and giver.
We forget that feedback is one perception of reality and not the only one. By nature, feedback is as much about the giver as it is about the receiver. The Idiosyncratic Rater Effect states that we are poor raters of other people, whether it comes to their intentions, behavior or performance. The research around it found that more than 61% of the feedback you give to someone is about you, not the other.
Does that make feedback irrelevant? Can you just waive all feedback by saying "that's your problem"? No! Not at all. Feedback, however subjective it is, is relevant when it is given with the purpose to improve collaboration and performance. Feedback is a great source for every individual to understand her impact on others and potential blind spots better. A question to ask someone to curiously understand the perspective of the feedback giver better is: "What do you need from me?"
Clarity helps understand feedback.
Clarity is important to create an understanding of feedback on the receiver's side. Using concrete examples is key, as is a short description of the impact of the feedback on someone else and your explicit desire for change.
Here's an example: "I noticed in yesterday's meeting that you interrupted me a few times when I presented on new org architecture. It made me feel rushed because I felt I could not finish my points in my logical order. I appreciate your input, and I would like to finish my story before you react in this specific setting."
There are tons of feedback models out there. The key elements are: description of the situational behavior, impact on you, and input for future changes. Making explicit that the feedback is a personal perspective by using "I" statements helps the receipt of feedback.
Compassion is key.
Last but not least, the most important emotion for effective feedback is compassion and kindness. These emotions communicate to both brains: feedback giver and receiver. If we cannot access those emotions in the moment of asking, receiving, and giving feedback, we need to postpone the feedback moment. Whenever we can access those emotions, and we are sure we can give feedback to improve collaboration and performance and not to simply get rid of our anger or voice our own irritations, we can proceed again.
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May 06, 2020 at 06:44PM
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The Mindsets And Behaviors Needed To Create A Feedback Culture - Forbes
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